Parking 101

I believe this is what someone half my age would refer to as an "epic fail."


Another Dead Hero

"That this Blog notes with sadness the 20th anniversary of the death of Bill Hicks, on 26th February 1994, at the age of 32; recalls his assertion that his words would be a bullet in the heart of consumerism, capitalism and the American Dream; and mourns the passing of one of the few people who may be mentioned as being worth of inclusion with Lenny Bruce in any list of unflinching and painfully honest political philosophers."

[With sincere apologies to Stephen Pound, British MP for the constituency of Ealing North. Reproduced and modified with his consent.]


They Would Have Gotten Away With It, Too

Wherein the author takes a series of screen-shots from the beloved children’s shows Scooby-Doo, Where Are You! and The Scooby-Doo Show, slaps a sardonic caption on each, and adds them to his blog in a vain attempt to entertain the reader.

Velma found a very British way of expressing her frustration.

I don’t know what Fred’s doing here, but he certainly seems to be enjoying it.

Shaggy soon came to regret his decision to have enchiladas for lunch.

"Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him."

Daphne’s friends attempted to convince themselves that her interest in National Socialism was just a passing phase.

Scooby and Shaggy’s passion for hotboxing started to get in the way of solving mysteries.

With the benefit of hindsight, Fred conceded that he should have foreseen the slapstick hilarity which would soon ensue.

The gang’s decision to eat lunch in Koreatown backfired in spectacular fashion.

On her way to the ground, Daphne had time to ponder the origins of her “Danger-Prone” nickname.

Velma tried to tell herself that it was just a scratch, but deep down inside, she knew it was a pick.

It became apparent that Scooby’s worm problem wasn’t going to go away by itself.

“It’s called a Prince Albert.”

Ten full minutes elapsed before they realized that the door opened inward.

The others didn’t entrust Daphne with a flashlight of her own. Not after what happened last time.

This one's just plain racist.

Fred’s long-standing tendency to sleep through Physics 101 came back to bite everybody in the ass.

As preposterous as this may seem at first glance, it still makes a damn sight more sense than Jaws: The Revenge.

Schadenfreude is an ugly trait, even in an animated, anthropomorphic dog.

By pooling their rolling papers, Scooby and Shaggy quickly amassed enough to make a Camberwell Carrot.

Apparently, Mr. and Mrs. Jones hadn’t been lying when they told their son he was part owl.

"Pull my finger."

Fred’s attempts to get hold of I.P. Freely were stymied by a paranoid and unhelpful telephone operator.

There’s no earthly reason why the sight of a frilly pink dress in a wardrobe should give Shaggy a raging semi. And yet...

Daphne picked up a few tips from Louise Woodward’s Guide to Babysitting.

“Ironically, I’ve always hated the smell of fish."


For a double dose of my pimping, read on…
One needn’t be Veronica Mars in order to pick up on the fact that this here blog hasn’t been updated in a while. A long while, in fact. So what gives?
The answer is either “Nothing” or “Everything”, depending upon one’s philosophical bent. Regardless, it’s not terribly interesting.
After the long-awaited demise of Posterous was scheduled for April 30, 2013, I figured it was high time for me to extricate my cranium from betwixt my buttocks and figure out how to redirect my domain. (Twelve months after the fact, I grant you, but better late than never.)
Welcome, then, to my new home on the World Wide Web. V. God-Knows-What is officially up and running, thanks to Posthaven’s timely creation, which saved me from having to a) go crawling back to WordPress, or b) give Tumblr a shot.
At the time of writing, Posthaven is still in its public beta phase, so the layout of this page will almost certainly change as more features and themes become available.
Who knows? Perhaps the fact that I must now pay for my blogging platform will inspire me to post more frequently! Stranger things have happened.
In the meantime, as ever, stick around if you feel so inclined.