Dethink to Survive

Ever Get the Feeling You've Been Cheated?


These guys do. So do these chaps. And this fellow. Not to mention him.

They’re far from alone, too. Me? I can’t help but find the whole situation amusing in the extreme, especially as commentators on both sides of the divide seem to be equally pissed off without having any ostensibly-valid reasons for their ire.

For those of you who have been lucky enough to avoid this farrago as it played out over the past few days, permit me to offer a summary thereof.

Once upon a time, there was a woman named Jennifer Aniston who had a leading role in a little show called Friends. Jennifer, being a rather attractive lady, soon had her share of male admirers, many of whom would have given a kidney (or, in some cases, two) in order to see her sans vêtements.

Fast-forward almost 18 years. Ms. Aniston’s new movie, Wanderlust, is mere days away from opening at theaters across North America, when disaster strikes! Early test screenings had included a much-vaunted nude scene involving the star, who had previously shunned all offers to partake in such shenanigans; however, pre-release showings of the final cut did not feature said sequence.

The tragic news spread across the Internet like wildfire, starting with blogs and forums before spreading to more legitimate outlets.

Perhaps the most galling thing of all, from the perspective of Aniston’s admirers, is the sense of déjà vu which surrounds these proceedings. It’s not the first time this has happened, after all; indeed, last year’s Horrible Bosses also teased her fanbase with the prospect of a breast-baring scene, only to include no such spectacle upon its release.

On one side of the spectrum are angry, embittered horn-dogs whose responses to this travesty range from vituperative message-board posts to personal boycotts of Wanderlust, not to mention all of Aniston’s future projects. On the other sits an array of finger-wagging puritans, each of whom seems unable to comprehend why red-blooded men the world over would want to see a female celebrity naked in the first place.

“Nudity-dodger! Prude!” howl the former. “Get a girlfriend! Buy a copy of Playboy!” retort the latter. Meanwhile, the globe has the audacity to keep on turning.